Lipstick under my burkha; rejected by the censor board

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This topic will not lose relevance, not in India at least. Since the topic is about the requirement of censor boards for films and TV, I will not talk about the humiliation Salman Rushdie, M.F.Hussain, Taslima Nasreen have gone through, something that Karl Marx did not; imagine he was writing Das Kapital right in the middle of England. But even this tolerant, indulgent England found The Rainbow objectionable for many years. The novel that was later to be declared as a masterpiece was burnt in public. Throughout history, we have witnessed this burning or killing live, poisoning people or the then declared black sheep to death; it happened with Jesus, Socrates, Joan of Arc; they were offered death because of reasons we know; they these very bad apples were sanctified, accepted as philosopher, beatified or what have you.

The film in question, it is sad to know, which is being destroyed has not even been seen by those in charge of censorship, I heard some teachers were doing the judgement. Strange indeed! If one were to be sympathetic to the censor board, one would think this kind of rejection is prompted more by fear than anything else. We are scared, since a little more than twenty years, of certain words like burkha, islam, terrorism, muslim, otherwise why would a lady-oriented film, which talks about ‘secret fantasies and hidden desires', directed by Alankrita Shrivastava, produced by Prakash Jha, appraised and led by Konkona Sen Sharma, Ratna Pathak, Aahana Kumra Plabita Borthakur be rejected?

And if we are to let moral policing on the loose, they would go about raping women, bring back sati daha, put a ban on widow remarriage, keep on slapping women who smoke, drink, wear mini skirts considering them as whores, and finally relegate all those women inside the prison of  mari-mère-maison, keep them as the weaker sex for ever and ever. This moral policing has become so strong that more women take part in it than men.

But Volatiare, years ago, has found out a much more civilized way of looking at radical thinking or any thinking with an alternative or opposite point of view; “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

Night shift and graveyard shift

Graveyard shift, I am curious to know whose coinage this is. Organizations, mostly Indian, some American with a strong presence in India wanting to take advantage of the cheap labor of the APAC region. are perpetually forcing their workforce, those bright little children into night shifts. The idea is that we, the people of the third world will have to be up and about at a time we need to go to bed. Why? In order to cater to the developed world's (the western world) business needs. We need money, we need growth, we need development. That is why, bright and creative managers have initiated night shifts in most third world countries. Later they initiated graveyard shifts; some of you will be horrified to know that children who go for these shifts return home at 3 or 4 in the mornings. No sooner they return home, they go off to sleep. The inmates are on the alert so they do not disturb them. Imagine the coinage, graveyard; children who work in this shift know that they are dead all the time, when they are working, and when they are not. This does have its manifestations, something that disturbs the well being of the society where they belong.

We get money, but we pay the price

As a result, what we get as a consequence to this sad slavery is anger, angst, hatred and other negative vibrations. Social behaviorists can help with grim statistics of anger, hatred, depression, killing as an outcome of working in dead hours. I guess it would have started post globalization because in our times going for night shifts was an exception, not a rule.

I am sure there is a way out to see that both, businesses and the workforce, do not get negatively affected if we think more creatively to save our souls. But the question is who will bring back those children into the normal and nature-abiding routine and why would anyone do it, for there seems to be no need, everything seems to be working fine. We need to wear all the colored hats and deliver us a way out. Qualified managers, CEOs think it is okay to let people work in odd hours on a regular basis. There needs to be a group of well-meaning people who, by means of research, would show how our society, the third world's, is getting negatively and very adversely impacted because of endorsing abnormal working hours as a norm. Governments need to intervene to ensure that it is not enough to ensure people working for eight hours a day, but the timing is also vital. Night shifts can only be accepted as exception, not as a rule. Doesn't human rights have anything to say about this.

When these children go out, drink, smoke and entertain themselves in an 'unapproved' way, we raise our eyebrows; we look down on the ways as a western influence, but we do not see that the real western influence is happening elsewhere, under the ground. No one even asks as to why we should keep awake and work at night when the western world would work for normal hours. Are we now losing out on sleep? This can have criminal repercussions in society, the frog is sure to die an untimely death if we do not wake up now. If we were slaves during colonization, or before independence, what are we now. Interestingly the western world, from where we get business, will not mind if we chalked out an effective way to safeguard the interest of the all the stakeholders, but we will not dare to do that, one wonders why... are we still puppets in their hands.

People are not products
 

We are pushing one entire generation into insomnia, depression, unrest, intolerance for the sake of some money; we showcase our growth and development, but we are blissfully unaware of the harm that we are causing to our own society, a permanent damage that would make us 'developing countries' for good. Our perception of looking at people as products is the key here. People are not products, they can never be, this belief system needs to change. In our earnestness and sincerity, we have forgotten one fundamental fact; money, possession are not the signs of success, they are the invisible quagmire to growth under which we get drowned and buried every day. The western world has somehow realized this. On the face of it, growth might look beautiful, but just like the tree in the picture, the apparently beautiful tree is also trying to communicate its sufferance, for how long can we ignore this. We cannot keep the tree artificially awake on one hand, and on the other, market our environmental consciousness with beautiful muddy saplings in our hands. Bringing those bonnies back into life can be the most helpful corporate social responsibility we can think of. If CSR has to start, let it start from home first.

Power

The inside story of powerhouses

“You need Power, only when you want to do something harmful, otherwise Love is enough to get everything done.” – Charlie Chaplin

If learning organizations have not yet found out the truth in the statement and ways to bring that out into application, they need to think again; for then it means they are not intelligent enough despite their growth and profit. There often seems to be an unrecorded mismatch in the vision and mission laid in black and white and the ones that are put into practice. My heart goes out to those who are now facing the menace of power; who are at the receiving end and now undergoing the crises of humiliation, insinuation, candidature and character assassination by the unfortunate administrators, who are now busy using power the way Chaplin has apprehended. There does not seem to be any functional ombudsman to defend the defenseless; the so-called black sheep and bad apples.

But can managers or administrators be blamed I wonder. Organizations do have the belief system that if managers are unable to find bad employees, they are NOT doing their job. If any organization has a policy of taking measures against people found guilty of somethings, say, sexual harassment, then the managers have to anyhow find out people guilty, so they start head-hunting. Their success depends on someone's disaster. Organizations benefit in checking that criteria and showcasing that to their clients. The business world seems to be happy with the findings and these are considered, registered, recorded as true. Likewise, we look for under-performers, people with bad behavior, and have them sadly authenticated by a foolproof machine called 'everybody'; there are so and so who also think that the bad person is bad. If you look deep and make your research on these bad people, you will see that most of them lack interpersonal skills; this fault of theirs makes them defenseless. The workforce is even alerted during induction the danger of lacking in interpersonal skills; they openly say that during layoffs and 'anything other disaster, these people will be cleared, much like those Sultans clearing places of worship by exercising 'power'. What is more shocking is the unwritten definition of interpersonal skills, it means that you need to say or do things that every Tom, Dick and Harry is doing, and if you are unable to be friends with them, even if they are doing something distasteful, you are a black sheep; you have to take part in discussions you might find shallow. If a group of translators is bent upon slowing down the work under the excuse of ensuring 100% quality, (ha ha ha), and spend long hours in cafeterias and other sit-outs, you also have to do just that because that is considered as life skills. And if by mistake you tell those 'everybody' that you think it is not the right thing to do, you will very soon have issues with them, with each one of them, you are pointed out as a naysayer, not included in meetings, and no sooner than you realize, you become a black sheep. The workforce will pin you down as a poor performer, and anything worse than you can actually imagine.

And finally, no one is happy; the very successful and the least, because both are victims of power.

What is the way out

It is pointless to talk about this because layoff or firing is considered as part of a growing process. The belief system is 'hey it's natural', 'it happens in all organizations'; layoff is never considered as a shame, a scar, a failure of Learning organizations. Negative policies that create negative atmosphere (because both, victims and victors are affected) can be certainly changed if organizations think it is really worthwhile to change. A poor performer can be channeled into other departments is just one way out; I am sure if creative brains do the brainstorming then not having layoffs may soon be considered a reality, and a yardstick for best employer or a great place to work, where organizations and those poor managers (I can completely empathize with those who go into severe depression as also with those who take pride being thoughtless) may not have to use power and still can satisfy their clients without affecting the quality of work of their respective team members. This needs creative and out-of-the-box thinking.

In the words of Shaw, 'Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power'; the probe, if at all, is not to find out who the fool here is, the one who fires or the one who is fired; but to find out a way in which firing ceases to exist, to create an engrossing, encouraging, research-oriented atmosphere where working becomes the key, the basis of life-skill, where inclusiveness is even extended to those with challenging interpersonal skills, where organizations may not have to use power at all.

Suicide, been there not done that

Been there not done that

Not committing suicide, despite the urge

On figures of how many beautiful people across the world commit suicide every day, I will not give you numbers because I do not trust on them. I will take ‘many’ as the sacrosanct number to start writing on a topic I have always wanted to.
This article promises to talk about the steps for not committing suicide. Of late, it is a growing phenomenon that has attracted attention and concern from many quarters, including behavioral psychologists. There are countries where people go in groups to destroy themselves. Yet I am surprised at our inability to talk openly about it. Till date, we have to go to a consultant secretly to talk about our issues and concerns.
Yearning to commit suicide is a germ that’s present in every individual in varying degree. I am not an exception. However, I know I will never let the hormones overpower me because I follow certain methods. Let us quickly understand the reasons before getting on with the methods of preventing the urge.

I promise to make it as interesting as possible.

Reasons

First let us look at the reasons why beautiful souls across the world and across ages, castes, status commit suicide. I am fortunate to have most of them!

·         People who are

o   Not successful in life

o   Successful, extremely successful in life

o   Not beautiful, handsome, sexy

o   Beautiful, handsome and sexy

o   Rich, extremely rich

o   Poor, extremely poor

o   In debt

o   Not in debt

o   Not acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers

o   Completely or moderately acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers

o   Loners

o   People’s person

o   Lovers

o   Without love

o   Fighters

o   The most timid

o   Intellectuals

o   Not intellectuals

o   Businessmen

o   Professionals

o   Authors of books on positive mental attitude

o   Readers of books on positive mental attitude

o   Dealing with sudden loss of near and dear ones

o   Yet to see deaths in their families

o   Sentimental and sensitive

o   Not sentimental and sensible

o   Toppers of colleges / institutions

o   Failures of colleges / institutions

o   Celebrities

o   The most ordinary

o   Unhappy in their married / sex life

o   Happy in their married / sex life

o   Homosexuals

o   Heterosexuals

o   Bisexuals

o   With troubled children

o   With the most obedient children

o   Thrown out of schools / organizations

o   Most accepted in schools / organizations

o   The list goes on…

The real reason

Interesting, isn’t it? Does the list tell us that there are no reasons to commit suicide? Please scroll up and re-read the list until you understood that there are no reasons to commit suicide. The greatest mistake people look for is the reason, either in the form of suicidal notes or in the form of questioning the unfortunate relatives, friends to understand the reason. The urge to commit suicide is induced by some hormones [let us not be so knowledgeable as to know which hormone…just google it] which in turn are triggered by the inability to cope with our situations. So situations are not the reasons here… it is the inability to look at situations that cause the urge. Unless we understand the reason for suicide as physiological rather than emotional, I suggest readers not to proceed. To simplify with an example from the list, if not being successful in life is the reason, then there are people who are extremely successful also commit suicide. So the real reason is the germ that pushes people away from life. This germ can be controlled and eventually purged from our system if certain methods are followed. If I tell you the methods people use to commit suicide, you will be surprised at their creativity. My objective is not to show the methods of committing suicide, but exactly the opposite, to show how not to hurt ourselves.

Responsibilities do not play any role

Right in front of the dudes who’d just ended their journeys, people start judging. However, responsibilities do not play any role; whether they are survived by a child or a family dependent on them, whether they have ailing parents, pregnant wives, or have left huge debts for their families, or whether insurances cover suicides has nothing to do with the object ‘urge’ here. It is only the ‘I’ that matters to us when we commit suicide.

Methods to pause-postpone-purge the urge

I will share some of the methods I have adopted not to go destroyed.

1.      Swear words – when the question is existential, let us not ornament words with euphemism; so any swear word (especially f*ck you) functions as a very important tool. Hence it tops the list. Whenever you feel the urge of hurting yourself, this is the sacred mantra you can use. It will definitely ease you out. In order to articulate this, you can use all sorts of sign languages, like your middle finger, your little finger and shout out the mantra. Try this when you have the urge and see how it helps you.

2.      Self-talk – this you would have already read in some books. But the mantra I will be sharing is quite unique and I trust you will not find it anywhere.

a.       I am living in this world

b.      My life is useful

c.       I am brave

d.      I am good

e.       I know it hurts to live, but it will also hurt to leave

f.       I am at a dead-end, I have nothing to lose, so I am good

g.       True I wanted to die I will make this truth a lie

h.      Hold on

i.        Stay put

j.        I wanted to die I wanted to die now no more now no more

k.      If I have reasons to die I have reasons not to cry

l.        I will live unloved, unwanted, disliked, hated

m.    I will live like a failure

n.      I will live like the poor

o.      No shame, no fame, no character, faulty, guilty, silly, cunning, selfish, conceited…will not blame will not blame I do not blame…I live just the same

p.      Love, love, love [continue this with your hands to the sky and take five rounds clockwise and five anti-clockwise, then drop on the floor]

You would have noticed that all of these is about I, me, myself…the reasons stated in l,m,n, and o are very effective, although they are quite contrary. However, the one that is the most effective is the last one! Try that dudes I love you all because I am you!

3.      Mirroring – People who are contemplating suicide…guys how do you look…you will see a somber look on your face. Just before you are going to the railway track, if you are in your senses, just look at the mirror before going… and say ha, ha, ha thirty-three times. Repeat three times.

      My tenderest friends, my lovers, I wish you never go there, trust me the world is far too sexy than you think.

4.      Repeat actions – again if you are in your senses, keep on repeating simple actions. For example, switching on and off a light or fan, closing and opening a door or a window, pulling and pushing a chair or a table, opening and closing a tap to fill an empty bucket [you must listen to the sound when you do that]

5.      Playing – instead of buying rat killers or any other poison or sleeping pills, buy a ball. Go to your room and keep on bouncing the ball and count how many times you did. Target is 1000 dudes!

6.      Heavy therapy – there are some dudes who feel very heavy when attacked with the germ. At the time, put heavier things on you, like some sofa or chair on you…keep it for some time and you will see the germ leaving your body

7.      Quilt therapy – cover yourself with lots of quilt and lie on bed for some time..you can even go off to sleep

8.      Darkroom therapy – if it is daytime, make it dark, and keep on chanting f*ck you f*ck you and f*ck you…I don’t know of any mantra for pious people, unless you choose any self-talk from the list…you could also try saying screw you instead of f*ck you! Remember, this you can be anybody else…but the most effective you here is the germ in you that you want to kill, with vigor and skill.

9.      Walk therapy – this helps. Remember, you are not proving anything to anyone, so walk at your pace…there is no race.

10.  Cry therapy – cry, weep, sob, depress yourself as much as you can…and then say I can’t believe I wanted to die…to die!...to die?....ha ha ha ….do this after you have cried enough.

11.  Destroy therapy – depending on what method you have to choose, you can destroy the method. For instance, take a pillow and hang it….and when it is hanging in front of you, say f*ck you. If you wanted to take sleeping pills, take some biscuits, go to the street and feed the dogs those biscuits…the best method is to take some seeds and feed the birds on the terrace. Coming to jumping from the terrace…if you have that urge, go to the ground and look at the terrace, and say the mantra (by this time you know the mantra, don’t you?)

12.  Opposite therapy – if you have the sense to understand the reason, you will see people with exactly opposite reason also have committed suicide…if you do not find the reason mentioned in the list, write your reason, and then write the opposite reason also. It helps!

13.  Ung therapy – just at the moment, if you are not at the level of words…you cannot chant any word….just say unggggggg until you run out of breath, keep on repeating it a number of times you’ll see what happens. The moment you stop, the urge comes back….fight it again with unggggg…repeat this and you’ll see it works like magic!

14.  Feed the poor therapy – very effective. Buy some bananas and feed the poor

15.  Flush therapy – go to the rest room, and say, I wanted to die, and flush…do it three times

16.  I am sure you wouldn’t need any anti-suicidal drugs, but if drugs are necessary, take it with doctor’s consent.

17.  Other than these, there are many ways like singing, eating, breathing, satsang, yoga, exercise, reading (anything including p*rno), and so on can help prevent-postpone-purge the urge of ending life. Methods such as these can shift our paradigm and take life head on in the way you are…don’t pressurize yourself to change…just be the way you are…you will win your way through.

No conclusion

I am a failure in every sense of the term. If you tried to find out any place or situation or a role where I haven’t failed, you will only be disappointed! However, I consider myself successful because I am still there… I know I will continue to live till my last breath and I will continue to be successful.
As failure or successful, as cherished or disliked, as beautiful or not beautiful, we do have our space and place in this world. Let people like us also live.

My message to all those who are contemplating suicide is:

Please don’t go away before you went… it is a skill worth trying: Try not to die

If you are not able to find your way, write in to me at supratiksen1@gmail.com and I will help you, not as a consultant, but as a friend who has been there not done that.

Cheers!