Driving home a message

Driving home a message

As a long-distance walker, I get to experience many good and not-so-good incidents. But today, I have decided to share one of the sad experiences that I encounter on a daily basis; reckless driving by school bus drivers. The other day, with the help of a traffic police, I managed to stop a school bus which was speeding at more than 100 kilometers an hour in a narrow lane of Chetla, one of the busiest places in South Kolkata. To my surprise I found the children requesting me to please let the driver go. Friendly interrogation helped me find out that the children were encouraging their heroic driver uncle to speed up, to overtake the passing cars; they were also clapping and singing to celebrate the success of their driver uncle.

Is this the reason why school bus accidents are on the rise in India, I wonder. No, there are other reasons too. I also found out that the driver was in his early twenties driving toddlers to their homes. It is very sad to note that we react (by blaming, ransacking, etc.) when the accidents happen but do nothing to see how they can be prevented by some effective training methods; by policing or more aptly by parenting the process. When I was in Hyderabad, I found reckless driving by school buses of very famous international schools.

Here are my observations:

HR of every school needs to train the drivers, not to speed up, come what may. Punctuality is important but if the delay happens because of uncontrollable circumstances, then that needs to be allowed. Drivers also have the pressure to maintain their respective SLAs and speed up because of it. We need to remember it is better to reach than never to reach.

Teachers need to train the students NOT to ask the drivers to speed up and overtake, with the help of very effective and affectionate role plays. Why are all school buses of a certain color – this has to be driven in the minds of all the stakeholders. In this context, may I suggest a uniform color for all school bus drivers and helpers. If it is yellow for all school buses, it could be green.

Guardians also have a key role in grooming their children the evils of overtaking, with interesting stories and anecdotes.

Recruiting drivers of buses owned by the school as well as private school buses needs to be governed by the school authorities because drivers with more experience are less likely to be gullible.

I am sure there are other variables that need to be factored, but these are the very vital preventive measures that I could think of at the moment.

I did not disclose the name of the school because the purpose is not to blame, and snatching away the driver’s job or defaming the name of the school will certainly not help. I would sincerely like every guardian and all other stakeholders to take notice of this so they can have a robust, a foolproof system to ensure safety and security to the children who commute on school buses.

Some methods for teaching spoken English

I have always had this idea of helping the workforce speak with relatively neutralized accent. For a long time, I tried to communicate the need to have a different method for teaching English in organizations where I worked; unfortunately because of priorities, they couldn’t be implemented. But I have decided to share my ideas here. Some of you can try and see a visible (an audible) change in the engineers who speak with accented English. Engineers are basically intelligent, and I had the pleasure of being with them, helping them to learn in my best possible way without ever letting them feel low because of their lack of communication skills.

I must quickly add that some of you who teach spoken English would have perhaps tried this method; so it is for those who want to make an impact in the learners’ minds and help them change the way they speak; it could be a significant step in bringing about a shift; from accented English to English with neutralized accent.

I had high hopes of naming this as Higgins. Here I go. I am not writing my whole research here, would just share some technical clues. First of all, let us explore why most SLs (Subject learner) do not learn even after completing the prescribed duration; one major reason could be the fact that language learning, as opposed to other disciplines, is more psychological than intellectual. The method, you will see, is a combo of learning (intellectual) with affection, interest and comfort (psychological)

1.      The designer should have a sound technical team. This team’s work would be to convert

a.      Speech to text – At entry point, the SL should be given to speak on any given topic, let’s say for five minutes. A team of expert needs to convert that into correct English. The SL needs to listen to his recorded speech again and again.

b.     Text to speech – The technical team needs to convert the corrected speech into text to speech choosing the region per the need of the organization. For instance, if it is American English, an American speaker should be chosen.

c.      Now these two speeches, 1) by the SL and 2) by the native speaker need to be given to the SL to listen to. With room for auto-correction, and without the uninteresting trainer correcting them all the time, this could work as magic.

i.     If there are 20 SLs, 40 such speeches needs to be made. This was precisely the point of disconnect between me and my organisations because this they thought needed much effort. Thinking of ROI, the effort was shelved. I have a gut feeling that when this is mechanized or automated or built into a process, it will not be cumbersome at all. This little kit on auto-correction would have a lasting impact in the brain of the SL, and, as an outcome of auto-correction, the brain will instruct the tongue to twist accordingly.

 ii.     On day 1, the team of expert analyses the challenges of the SL. This team has to be expert at evaluating the sounds (consonant and vowels) where there is severe accent vibration, e.g. /s/, /sh/, /d/, /o/, /aw/, diphthongs and so on. As a remedy, the SL should be given some tongue twisters. For example ‘we shall surely see the sunshine soon’ needs to be given to SLs who have accents in enunciating /s/ and /sh/. Those who have a tendency of dropping their /h/, need to be given ‘In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire; hurricanes hardly ever happen’, a classical tongue-twister recommended by Higgins to Elisa Doolittle in My Fair Lady.

iii.     Investing in language labs – it is not expensive, but this is the place where the SL actually learns to twist their tongues because there is no one watching them, no one laughing at them, it is a comfortable and effective and a very affectionate corner that can bring about a transformation in the way an SL speaks a foreign language. The thought that we learn more when we are out of our comfort zones strangely also means we are inside it. So the thought of taking them out of their comfort zones may please be parked for a while and make all SLs feel comfortable for a change.

iv.     A kitchen can be more effective than you know – when it is a question of tongue, let the SL go through the process of cooking their favorite dish; then write and share the recipe with the class. This is a very effective way of tricking the tongue; a great deal of vocabulary concerning cooking, laying the table with dining etiquette as well as the correct flow of language would be willingly and effortlessly internalized by the SL.

v.     Shopping – SLs need to be taken for shopping where they can buy their best clothes and accessories.

vi.     If you think it is an interesting process, focus on how you could take the SLs out of the class, let them spend more time in the labs, in role plays rather than learning to differentiate between an attribute and an epithet. I have seen SLs going through the entire course and still say he don’t know, I didn’t went and so on.

d.     Customized glossary – Depending on the needs of the organization, SLs can be groomed into a specific glossary with terms and terminologies. An engaging research is required by the communications team, but once it is done, it gets into the repository, becomes an asset for the organization.

e.     Extended global team – MNCs can have a practice team in the US, the UK as the case may be to regularly (or periodically) talk or chat with the SLs as part of their learning. This is a true and effective hand-holding any global organization can initiate to see a positive change in their workforce. During the one on one session, the lesson plans can be customized. Grosso modo, the global team would try to understand two things, viz. 1) if the SL’s speech is comprehensible, if not, where are the zones and 2) if the SL is able to understand what the GT (global team) representative is trying to say.

f.       Body language, vocal clues – a special training needs to be shared with the SL on the importance of these finer aspects.

g.      Recommended films – If not films, organizations can have snippets of their specific content and walk them through on a regular basis.

h.     Introducing good and easy songs – whether the SLs are able to understand the lyrics while listening to the song.

i.        Levels – Pre-beginners; Beginners; Intermediate, Advance, Post-advance. These levels are not sacrosanct, they can be skipped or customized accordingly.

j.       Duration for each level – An SL has to pass a pre-beginners level to move onto the next. They can take their own time, go to the lang-labs beyond class hours; however, they wouldn’t be allowed to get into the next level until they satisfy the criteria for moving on. This has to be strictly followed. Gut feeling again is that we can hear them improve.

You would have seen that the method takes the SLs equally away from the class for effective learning. However, a balance has to be ensured because learning inside the classroom is also equally important. The focus should be to see whether the SLs are coming to the class out of faith, on their own or whether they are coming out of fear, being driven; if they are coming out of fear, the method needs to be changed. Feedback would speak a thousand words; delivery effectiveness should coalesce with learning effectiveness at all times, across levels.

Importance of reading

Verbal behavior, B F Skinner

The objective of this article is to highlight the importance of reading and is aimed at those who want to improve on their writing skills. 

Introduction

As a child, learning to read is a sequential process. For example, first you learn to break down words into sounds and then you start putting meanings into those words and then in sentences. Reading has a deep impact in building an individual as a professional, a sensible netizen of the world and also as a writer; you will see in this article, it is the raw material, your ingredients with which you write. Reading also helps you introspect and has a very positive impact on the body and mind. Most successful men and women the world is proud of are essentially good readers. It is one of the most important skills in communication.

Four skills of communication

Burrhus Frederic Skinner (March 20, 1904 – August 18, 1990), commonly known as B. F. Skinner, was an American psychologist, behaviorist, author, inventor, and social philosopher. He was the Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology at Harvard University from 1958 until his retirement in 1974. He was also a famous linguist who had postulated something called four skills of communication. This later formed the basis of all teachings that concerned communication, in schools, colleges or in training institutions. (Source: Wikipedia)

Communication, broadly speaking is of two types, viz. oral and written which are sub-divided into two, viz. comprehension and competence. Each of these skills has a name, e.g. oral comprehension is called listen, competence is called speak; written comprehension is called read, and competence write. So LSRW are the four skills of communication. It is important for us to know these skills because if we have to be effective in communication, we have to practise each of these four skills. Let us know why is it important to read.

Why is it important to read

It has been observed that these four skills function as any batch jobs (input-output) we have designed for computers. For instance, listening is the input and speaking the output, reading is the input, writing the output. It follows therefore, that if we need to hone our speaking skills, we have to listen and if we have to hone our writing skills, the surest way to improve is by reading.

Developing the habit of reading is also a skill, it does not come overnight. I have seen people getting irritated if they are made to read a long article. When you slowly develop the art of reading, you will see your span of concentration slowly increasing. If you have made writing your passion, there is no other way. Start reading, because it is important to read; however, the next question that comes is what to read.

What to read

In this forum, let us start sharing the books we are currently reading. This needs to be initiated by the senior writers and also by the junior writers who have the habit of reading. Please understand that reading anything is better than not reading. Beginners may not be able to engage in Harry Potter series or A suitable boy at the outset, you can start with something lighter, a Chetan Bhagat, for example. Whenever writers are sharing the book they are currently reading, build that into your reading list and read whenever you have time. We all need to be members of a good library because it may not always be feasible to buy books. About buying books we are not so generous, but for buying branded outfits, we probably are, but that’s a different issue altogether. Let’s not get into that domain now.

Strongly recommend e journals, especially Muse India

I do not know how many of you read e journals. Start reading them because this way you will be exposed to good and sincere writing very easily. Check your own pace and read accordingly. The reason I strongly recommend e journals is because it is readily available to us free of cost. You could also read the articles that are available to you on a daily basis. Check if you are wanting to read something long, or abruptly browsing; it is a psychological process my friends and we need to conquer our inertia towards reading, if we want to become writers ourselves. Most of the time, while reading you can catch hold of your own reading disability. Strongly recommend Muse India because it is a UGC approved journal. (http://www.museindia.com/viewrep.asp?id=66025)

Reading disability

This is like a virus. I have seen many writers who do not want to read anything beyond a certain length. Why should this happen to us writers I wonder; if you have reading disability it will be revealed from the responses you make about long writing. You may be a techie or an engineer, you might have a science background, but here you have one identity, which is that of a writer and a good writer is not expected to have reading disability. Check all the time if you are attacked by that virus and slowly and steadily let the virus rest in peace!

Who can help and how

Most anybody, from writers to readers to friends to strangers can help you in forming a substantial reading list.

Fostering an atmosphere of collective learning

If all of us practise this, we will slowly learn how to learn together, it is a fascinating process recommended by many writers and also by systems scientists.

Conclusion

Summary

Reading is the key to improving writing skills. There is no other way.

What to read

Most anything, from newspapers to magazines to e journals to books, novels; anything is good to start with. However, when you are reading as a writer, be conscious of how an idea is developed and various ways in which the text is written, the aspects of writing that appealed and those that didn’t.

Be careful

Be careful of people who don’t want to read. Do not get influenced by them. I have seen many people making catchy comments to gain cheap popularity. For instance, ‘you convert a micro poem into a mega poem’; such cheap comments gain tremendous popularity among others, especially those who are beginning to write, and distract young writers from their road-map to success. These people are essentially good, but their intention is to get non-approval from people about lengthy writing, and trust me it is easy to get acquiescence because people are generally averse to reading. If you are not aware, you will miss out on the pleasures of reading and delay your success. So stay away from such wrong influences.

Disclaimer

This article is not for those who are seasoned readers and writers. It is for those who are just beginning to write or have been with it for some time, want to hone their skills, but do not know how to go about it. However, it is relevant for all because those who are readers themselves can help.

Selected references:

- Bushell D, Wrobel PA, Michaelis ML. Applying "group" contingencies to the classroom study behavior of preschool children. J Appl Behav Anal. 1968 Spring;1(1):55–61. [PMC free article] [PubMed]

- Catania A Charles. B. F. Skinner's Science and Human Behavior: its antecedents and its consequences. J Exp Anal Behav. 2003 Nov;80(3):313–320. [PMC free article] [PubMed]

- Catania A, Laties V. Pavlov And Skinner: Two Lives In Science (An Introduction To B. F. Skinner's "Some Responses To The Stimulus 'Pavlov' "). J Exp Anal Behav. 1999 Nov;72(3):455–461. [PMC free article] [PubMed]

- Verbal Behavior, B.F.Skinner 1957. ISBN 1-58390-021-7.

Lipstick under my burkha; rejected by the censor board

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This topic will not lose relevance, not in India at least. Since the topic is about the requirement of censor boards for films and TV, I will not talk about the humiliation Salman Rushdie, M.F.Hussain, Taslima Nasreen have gone through, something that Karl Marx did not; imagine he was writing Das Kapital right in the middle of England. But even this tolerant, indulgent England found The Rainbow objectionable for many years. The novel that was later to be declared as a masterpiece was burnt in public. Throughout history, we have witnessed this burning or killing live, poisoning people or the then declared black sheep to death; it happened with Jesus, Socrates, Joan of Arc; they were offered death because of reasons we know; they these very bad apples were sanctified, accepted as philosopher, beatified or what have you.

The film in question, it is sad to know, which is being destroyed has not even been seen by those in charge of censorship, I heard some teachers were doing the judgement. Strange indeed! If one were to be sympathetic to the censor board, one would think this kind of rejection is prompted more by fear than anything else. We are scared, since a little more than twenty years, of certain words like burkha, islam, terrorism, muslim, otherwise why would a lady-oriented film, which talks about ‘secret fantasies and hidden desires', directed by Alankrita Shrivastava, produced by Prakash Jha, appraised and led by Konkona Sen Sharma, Ratna Pathak, Aahana Kumra Plabita Borthakur be rejected?

And if we are to let moral policing on the loose, they would go about raping women, bring back sati daha, put a ban on widow remarriage, keep on slapping women who smoke, drink, wear mini skirts considering them as whores, and finally relegate all those women inside the prison of  mari-mère-maison, keep them as the weaker sex for ever and ever. This moral policing has become so strong that more women take part in it than men.

But Volatiare, years ago, has found out a much more civilized way of looking at radical thinking or any thinking with an alternative or opposite point of view; “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

Night shift and graveyard shift

Graveyard shift, I am curious to know whose coinage this is. Organizations, mostly Indian, some American with a strong presence in India wanting to take advantage of the cheap labor of the APAC region. are perpetually forcing their workforce, those bright little children into night shifts. The idea is that we, the people of the third world will have to be up and about at a time we need to go to bed. Why? In order to cater to the developed world's (the western world) business needs. We need money, we need growth, we need development. That is why, bright and creative managers have initiated night shifts in most third world countries. Later they initiated graveyard shifts; some of you will be horrified to know that children who go for these shifts return home at 3 or 4 in the mornings. No sooner they return home, they go off to sleep. The inmates are on the alert so they do not disturb them. Imagine the coinage, graveyard; children who work in this shift know that they are dead all the time, when they are working, and when they are not. This does have its manifestations, something that disturbs the well being of the society where they belong.

We get money, but we pay the price

As a result, what we get as a consequence to this sad slavery is anger, angst, hatred and other negative vibrations. Social behaviorists can help with grim statistics of anger, hatred, depression, killing as an outcome of working in dead hours. I guess it would have started post globalization because in our times going for night shifts was an exception, not a rule.

I am sure there is a way out to see that both, businesses and the workforce, do not get negatively affected if we think more creatively to save our souls. But the question is who will bring back those children into the normal and nature-abiding routine and why would anyone do it, for there seems to be no need, everything seems to be working fine. We need to wear all the colored hats and deliver us a way out. Qualified managers, CEOs think it is okay to let people work in odd hours on a regular basis. There needs to be a group of well-meaning people who, by means of research, would show how our society, the third world's, is getting negatively and very adversely impacted because of endorsing abnormal working hours as a norm. Governments need to intervene to ensure that it is not enough to ensure people working for eight hours a day, but the timing is also vital. Night shifts can only be accepted as exception, not as a rule. Doesn't human rights have anything to say about this.

When these children go out, drink, smoke and entertain themselves in an 'unapproved' way, we raise our eyebrows; we look down on the ways as a western influence, but we do not see that the real western influence is happening elsewhere, under the ground. No one even asks as to why we should keep awake and work at night when the western world would work for normal hours. Are we now losing out on sleep? This can have criminal repercussions in society, the frog is sure to die an untimely death if we do not wake up now. If we were slaves during colonization, or before independence, what are we now. Interestingly the western world, from where we get business, will not mind if we chalked out an effective way to safeguard the interest of the all the stakeholders, but we will not dare to do that, one wonders why... are we still puppets in their hands.

People are not products
 

We are pushing one entire generation into insomnia, depression, unrest, intolerance for the sake of some money; we showcase our growth and development, but we are blissfully unaware of the harm that we are causing to our own society, a permanent damage that would make us 'developing countries' for good. Our perception of looking at people as products is the key here. People are not products, they can never be, this belief system needs to change. In our earnestness and sincerity, we have forgotten one fundamental fact; money, possession are not the signs of success, they are the invisible quagmire to growth under which we get drowned and buried every day. The western world has somehow realized this. On the face of it, growth might look beautiful, but just like the tree in the picture, the apparently beautiful tree is also trying to communicate its sufferance, for how long can we ignore this. We cannot keep the tree artificially awake on one hand, and on the other, market our environmental consciousness with beautiful muddy saplings in our hands. Bringing those bonnies back into life can be the most helpful corporate social responsibility we can think of. If CSR has to start, let it start from home first.

Power

The inside story of powerhouses

“You need Power, only when you want to do something harmful, otherwise Love is enough to get everything done.” – Charlie Chaplin

If learning organizations have not yet found out the truth in the statement and ways to bring that out into application, they need to think again; for then it means they are not intelligent enough despite their growth and profit. There often seems to be an unrecorded mismatch in the vision and mission laid in black and white and the ones that are put into practice. My heart goes out to those who are now facing the menace of power; who are at the receiving end and now undergoing the crises of humiliation, insinuation, candidature and character assassination by the unfortunate administrators, who are now busy using power the way Chaplin has apprehended. There does not seem to be any functional ombudsman to defend the defenseless; the so-called black sheep and bad apples.

But can managers or administrators be blamed I wonder. Organizations do have the belief system that if managers are unable to find bad employees, they are NOT doing their job. If any organization has a policy of taking measures against people found guilty of somethings, say, sexual harassment, then the managers have to anyhow find out people guilty, so they start head-hunting. Their success depends on someone's disaster. Organizations benefit in checking that criteria and showcasing that to their clients. The business world seems to be happy with the findings and these are considered, registered, recorded as true. Likewise, we look for under-performers, people with bad behavior, and have them sadly authenticated by a foolproof machine called 'everybody'; there are so and so who also think that the bad person is bad. If you look deep and make your research on these bad people, you will see that most of them lack interpersonal skills; this fault of theirs makes them defenseless. The workforce is even alerted during induction the danger of lacking in interpersonal skills; they openly say that during layoffs and 'anything other disaster, these people will be cleared, much like those Sultans clearing places of worship by exercising 'power'. What is more shocking is the unwritten definition of interpersonal skills, it means that you need to say or do things that every Tom, Dick and Harry is doing, and if you are unable to be friends with them, even if they are doing something distasteful, you are a black sheep; you have to take part in discussions you might find shallow. If a group of translators is bent upon slowing down the work under the excuse of ensuring 100% quality, (ha ha ha), and spend long hours in cafeterias and other sit-outs, you also have to do just that because that is considered as life skills. And if by mistake you tell those 'everybody' that you think it is not the right thing to do, you will very soon have issues with them, with each one of them, you are pointed out as a naysayer, not included in meetings, and no sooner than you realize, you become a black sheep. The workforce will pin you down as a poor performer, and anything worse than you can actually imagine.

And finally, no one is happy; the very successful and the least, because both are victims of power.

What is the way out

It is pointless to talk about this because layoff or firing is considered as part of a growing process. The belief system is 'hey it's natural', 'it happens in all organizations'; layoff is never considered as a shame, a scar, a failure of Learning organizations. Negative policies that create negative atmosphere (because both, victims and victors are affected) can be certainly changed if organizations think it is really worthwhile to change. A poor performer can be channeled into other departments is just one way out; I am sure if creative brains do the brainstorming then not having layoffs may soon be considered a reality, and a yardstick for best employer or a great place to work, where organizations and those poor managers (I can completely empathize with those who go into severe depression as also with those who take pride being thoughtless) may not have to use power and still can satisfy their clients without affecting the quality of work of their respective team members. This needs creative and out-of-the-box thinking.

In the words of Shaw, 'Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power'; the probe, if at all, is not to find out who the fool here is, the one who fires or the one who is fired; but to find out a way in which firing ceases to exist, to create an engrossing, encouraging, research-oriented atmosphere where working becomes the key, the basis of life-skill, where inclusiveness is even extended to those with challenging interpersonal skills, where organizations may not have to use power at all.

Suicide, been there not done that

Been there not done that

Not committing suicide, despite the urge

On figures of how many beautiful people across the world commit suicide every day, I will not give you numbers because I do not trust on them. I will take ‘many’ as the sacrosanct number to start writing on a topic I have always wanted to.
This article promises to talk about the steps for not committing suicide. Of late, it is a growing phenomenon that has attracted attention and concern from many quarters, including behavioral psychologists. There are countries where people go in groups to destroy themselves. Yet I am surprised at our inability to talk openly about it. Till date, we have to go to a consultant secretly to talk about our issues and concerns.
Yearning to commit suicide is a germ that’s present in every individual in varying degree. I am not an exception. However, I know I will never let the hormones overpower me because I follow certain methods. Let us quickly understand the reasons before getting on with the methods of preventing the urge.

I promise to make it as interesting as possible.

Reasons

First let us look at the reasons why beautiful souls across the world and across ages, castes, status commit suicide. I am fortunate to have most of them!

·         People who are

o   Not successful in life

o   Successful, extremely successful in life

o   Not beautiful, handsome, sexy

o   Beautiful, handsome and sexy

o   Rich, extremely rich

o   Poor, extremely poor

o   In debt

o   Not in debt

o   Not acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers

o   Completely or moderately acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers

o   Loners

o   People’s person

o   Lovers

o   Without love

o   Fighters

o   The most timid

o   Intellectuals

o   Not intellectuals

o   Businessmen

o   Professionals

o   Authors of books on positive mental attitude

o   Readers of books on positive mental attitude

o   Dealing with sudden loss of near and dear ones

o   Yet to see deaths in their families

o   Sentimental and sensitive

o   Not sentimental and sensible

o   Toppers of colleges / institutions

o   Failures of colleges / institutions

o   Celebrities

o   The most ordinary

o   Unhappy in their married / sex life

o   Happy in their married / sex life

o   Homosexuals

o   Heterosexuals

o   Bisexuals

o   With troubled children

o   With the most obedient children

o   Thrown out of schools / organizations

o   Most accepted in schools / organizations

o   The list goes on…

The real reason

Interesting, isn’t it? Does the list tell us that there are no reasons to commit suicide? Please scroll up and re-read the list until you understood that there are no reasons to commit suicide. The greatest mistake people look for is the reason, either in the form of suicidal notes or in the form of questioning the unfortunate relatives, friends to understand the reason. The urge to commit suicide is induced by some hormones [let us not be so knowledgeable as to know which hormone…just google it] which in turn are triggered by the inability to cope with our situations. So situations are not the reasons here… it is the inability to look at situations that cause the urge. Unless we understand the reason for suicide as physiological rather than emotional, I suggest readers not to proceed. To simplify with an example from the list, if not being successful in life is the reason, then there are people who are extremely successful also commit suicide. So the real reason is the germ that pushes people away from life. This germ can be controlled and eventually purged from our system if certain methods are followed. If I tell you the methods people use to commit suicide, you will be surprised at their creativity. My objective is not to show the methods of committing suicide, but exactly the opposite, to show how not to hurt ourselves.

Responsibilities do not play any role

Right in front of the dudes who’d just ended their journeys, people start judging. However, responsibilities do not play any role; whether they are survived by a child or a family dependent on them, whether they have ailing parents, pregnant wives, or have left huge debts for their families, or whether insurances cover suicides has nothing to do with the object ‘urge’ here. It is only the ‘I’ that matters to us when we commit suicide.

Methods to pause-postpone-purge the urge

I will share some of the methods I have adopted not to go destroyed.

1.      Swear words – when the question is existential, let us not ornament words with euphemism; so any swear word (especially f*ck you) functions as a very important tool. Hence it tops the list. Whenever you feel the urge of hurting yourself, this is the sacred mantra you can use. It will definitely ease you out. In order to articulate this, you can use all sorts of sign languages, like your middle finger, your little finger and shout out the mantra. Try this when you have the urge and see how it helps you.

2.      Self-talk – this you would have already read in some books. But the mantra I will be sharing is quite unique and I trust you will not find it anywhere.

a.       I am living in this world

b.      My life is useful

c.       I am brave

d.      I am good

e.       I know it hurts to live, but it will also hurt to leave

f.       I am at a dead-end, I have nothing to lose, so I am good

g.       True I wanted to die I will make this truth a lie

h.      Hold on

i.        Stay put

j.        I wanted to die I wanted to die now no more now no more

k.      If I have reasons to die I have reasons not to cry

l.        I will live unloved, unwanted, disliked, hated

m.    I will live like a failure

n.      I will live like the poor

o.      No shame, no fame, no character, faulty, guilty, silly, cunning, selfish, conceited…will not blame will not blame I do not blame…I live just the same

p.      Love, love, love [continue this with your hands to the sky and take five rounds clockwise and five anti-clockwise, then drop on the floor]

You would have noticed that all of these is about I, me, myself…the reasons stated in l,m,n, and o are very effective, although they are quite contrary. However, the one that is the most effective is the last one! Try that dudes I love you all because I am you!

3.      Mirroring – People who are contemplating suicide…guys how do you look…you will see a somber look on your face. Just before you are going to the railway track, if you are in your senses, just look at the mirror before going… and say ha, ha, ha thirty-three times. Repeat three times.

      My tenderest friends, my lovers, I wish you never go there, trust me the world is far too sexy than you think.

4.      Repeat actions – again if you are in your senses, keep on repeating simple actions. For example, switching on and off a light or fan, closing and opening a door or a window, pulling and pushing a chair or a table, opening and closing a tap to fill an empty bucket [you must listen to the sound when you do that]

5.      Playing – instead of buying rat killers or any other poison or sleeping pills, buy a ball. Go to your room and keep on bouncing the ball and count how many times you did. Target is 1000 dudes!

6.      Heavy therapy – there are some dudes who feel very heavy when attacked with the germ. At the time, put heavier things on you, like some sofa or chair on you…keep it for some time and you will see the germ leaving your body

7.      Quilt therapy – cover yourself with lots of quilt and lie on bed for some time..you can even go off to sleep

8.      Darkroom therapy – if it is daytime, make it dark, and keep on chanting f*ck you f*ck you and f*ck you…I don’t know of any mantra for pious people, unless you choose any self-talk from the list…you could also try saying screw you instead of f*ck you! Remember, this you can be anybody else…but the most effective you here is the germ in you that you want to kill, with vigor and skill.

9.      Walk therapy – this helps. Remember, you are not proving anything to anyone, so walk at your pace…there is no race.

10.  Cry therapy – cry, weep, sob, depress yourself as much as you can…and then say I can’t believe I wanted to die…to die!...to die?....ha ha ha ….do this after you have cried enough.

11.  Destroy therapy – depending on what method you have to choose, you can destroy the method. For instance, take a pillow and hang it….and when it is hanging in front of you, say f*ck you. If you wanted to take sleeping pills, take some biscuits, go to the street and feed the dogs those biscuits…the best method is to take some seeds and feed the birds on the terrace. Coming to jumping from the terrace…if you have that urge, go to the ground and look at the terrace, and say the mantra (by this time you know the mantra, don’t you?)

12.  Opposite therapy – if you have the sense to understand the reason, you will see people with exactly opposite reason also have committed suicide…if you do not find the reason mentioned in the list, write your reason, and then write the opposite reason also. It helps!

13.  Ung therapy – just at the moment, if you are not at the level of words…you cannot chant any word….just say unggggggg until you run out of breath, keep on repeating it a number of times you’ll see what happens. The moment you stop, the urge comes back….fight it again with unggggg…repeat this and you’ll see it works like magic!

14.  Feed the poor therapy – very effective. Buy some bananas and feed the poor

15.  Flush therapy – go to the rest room, and say, I wanted to die, and flush…do it three times

16.  I am sure you wouldn’t need any anti-suicidal drugs, but if drugs are necessary, take it with doctor’s consent.

17.  Other than these, there are many ways like singing, eating, breathing, satsang, yoga, exercise, reading (anything including p*rno), and so on can help prevent-postpone-purge the urge of ending life. Methods such as these can shift our paradigm and take life head on in the way you are…don’t pressurize yourself to change…just be the way you are…you will win your way through.

No conclusion

I am a failure in every sense of the term. If you tried to find out any place or situation or a role where I haven’t failed, you will only be disappointed! However, I consider myself successful because I am still there… I know I will continue to live till my last breath and I will continue to be successful.
As failure or successful, as cherished or disliked, as beautiful or not beautiful, we do have our space and place in this world. Let people like us also live.

My message to all those who are contemplating suicide is:

Please don’t go away before you went… it is a skill worth trying: Try not to die

If you are not able to find your way, write in to me at supratiksen1@gmail.com and I will help you, not as a consultant, but as a friend who has been there not done that.

Cheers!